Lessons in the Routines of Life

by Dan Kittle, President of Dakota Wesleyan University

Each morning, when I drop my sixth-grade son off at school, I say, “Remember, show some love and kindness today as the world needs more of it.” He replies, “Okay, Dad. Love you,” and bolts out of the car to start his school day.

I don’t remember when this routine began, but it’s something we’ve shared for at least four years. While the message is for him, I find comfort in it, too. As any parent knows, mornings are full of reminders, some gentle, some not so much: Make your bed. Take your cereal bowl to the sink. Brush your teeth. Fill up your water bottle. Pack your backpack. Brush your teeth! (Yes, my wife and I must repeat several of these every day.)

I am sure we all find our mornings full of hurried reminders, demands, corrections and distractions. And, if we’re honest, so are many of our own days.

When we aren’t intentional, the routine can easily fill with negativity. Reminders become demands. Habits become frustrations. Didn’t we just do this yesterday? What’s true in parenting is also true in our work, whether it is leading, teaching or being a good colleague.

How do we infuse positivity into the mundane? How do we turn daily routines into real-life lessons?

I know parents who begin the day with a short devotion. I see kids wearing bracelets stamped with reminders of courage or faith. Among my son’s teachers, I’ve noticed how they begin each day whether it is with a positive fist bump that tells kids they are seen and valued, or an invitation for a hug from someone who recognizes that it might be their only hug of the day. When my son goes to the library, he’s greeted by a librarian who listens—really listens—and takes great pride in matching his interests with a book. At work, I see colleagues who lead with messages like, “It’s better when you’re here,” who celebrate student accomplishments, and who let kindness and joy surface amidst meetings and hallway conversations.

I hope, someday, my son will tease me for always saying, “Remember, show some love and kindness today as the world needs more of it.” Then I’ll know it stuck. Because, eventually, he’ll figure out the routines of life, but will he learn the real lessons of living?

We all eventually master the rhythms of work: answering emails, returning calls, completing tasks. But ask yourself: will you be remembered for just completing those functions, or for the spirit you brought to it?

Parenting, leading and working all ask the same thing of us: to find meaning and purpose in repetition, and to turn those rhythms into real-life lessons worth remembering.